My mom passed away in January 2024 just shy of what would have been her 94th birthday in February. It would turn out to be a very different grieving journey than what I experienced with my father’s death over two decades earlier. The first half of 2024 was steeped in healing, reconciling feelings and reflection. 

It would turn out the loss of my mom would be the first of many losses experienced in 2024. My husband’s best friend’s mother (and later his father), my husband’s cousin and others. 

However, it would be almost exactly 6 months after losing my mom that a friend would lose her far too young adult son. I felt the all too familiar pain again. As a mother of daughters similar in age, I was devastated. I would be without words and without a way to comfort and console my friend. I was in that familiar place of discomfort, of not knowing and of little to offer. It was back to “I am so sorry. Let me know how I can help.” While those words were spoken with care and love, I knew it did little to console her. 

I hung up the phone and was left with the sadness of the news, and with knowing that I had not been able to offer support in the way I would like to. The following days and weeks would be filled with continuing my own journey of healing. And I would continue to reflect on the impact of death for those that are experiencing the loss and those that are trying to offer support. It felt like an endless loop with no answers. 

I would check-in with my friend often, and I knew they were as a family planning on approaching the difficult task of handling the son’s personal effects which included articles of clothing. I understood this all too well with the passing of my dad almost 24 years ago and now with my mom. 

I feel that clothing has a sacredness because it is brought to life when worn. We all have our “favorites” and likewise so did our loved ones. I can tell you exactly what articles of clothing were my dad’s and mom’s favorites. When a loved one has passed, there is a stillness that takes over. The loss can be felt as their clothing remains neatly folded and tucked away. Too painful to see, too painful to remove…it holds feelings of loss.

In life, sometimes the deepest moments are seeds being planted. It would be days later that I remembered a project I did for myself many years earlier. I had sewn a hoodie, and I had lined the hood with a favorite dress shirt of my husband’s that he was going to donate.

It would turn out to be a very special piece for me. Every time I wore the hoodie, it would be a sweet reminder of my husband. It felt like a hug.

My husband helped give me the confidence to approach my friend on creating a similar hoodie using an article of clothing from her son’s closet. When I offered to make one for her, she came back and asked if I could make three, one for each family member. 

Her son is the inspiration for “hugs by Kumi.” A piece of his legacy lives on in each hoodie that is handcrafted and presented. He and his family provided me an opportunity, a gift and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you.

→ Next: Behind the scenes